Like the drill sergeant of a pocket-size army, Kate Gosselin went off on 6 of her tiny troops yesterday when they refused to stand still and be quiet after getting off the school bus.
When one of her 5-year-olds rebelled with a few insubordinate dance moves, Kate was heard snapping "This is the kind of stuff you cannot be doing when you are five years old. Stand quietly ... Stop your feet and don't move them."
As an extra threat, Kate added "If I wasn't here you'd still be standing in the parking lot waiting."
So a rabbi and a d-bag walk into a building ... We got Jon and Rabbi Shmuley -- Michael Jackson's former "spiritual advisor" -- heading into New York City's West Side Jewish Center last night, where they held a public dialogue in an attempt to make Jon look like less of a scumbag.
Inside, Jon reportedly apologized to Kate -- who wasn't there -- for "openly having relationships in the public eye" after their split, adding "if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off."
Jon Gosselin is not going to hook up with Octomom for a TV special, because his "spiritual advisors" had a bad feeling about the project. Who knew we were spiritual advisors?
We got a statement that Jon's "talent" agent sent to the producers of"Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom" saying, "While Jon appreciates the consideration and the potential revenues that it offers, after reviewing with both the management team and his spiritual advisors Jon has decided it is not in his best interest to pursue a show of this nature."
The "Dear Jon" letter continues, "... it is important to Jon to focus on his family and repairing the relationship that Jon and Kate need to have, both for themselves and for the sake of their children."
That's Jon Gosselin for you -- always doing the Lord's work.
2008's most hated married attention whores Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag dressed up in Halloween costumes yesterday as 2009's most hated divorcing attention whores Jon Gosselin and his highlighted, bi-level, reverse mullet raccoon weaved estranged wife Kate Gosselin.
Thankfully, there are no plans for "Jon & Kate Plus The Hills" to go into production.
Jon Gosselin and Octomom may be starring in an upcoming reality show from hell -- but the show's producers are convinced the "two biggest media sensations of our generation" are the next John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
TMZ obtained a copy of the pitch for "Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom" which reads: "Mohammed and the Mountain started a religion. Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris started a Yankee dynasty. Lennon and McCartney started a music revolution. Now Jon and Octomom start a whole new reality in the world of Reality TV."
The pitch claims the show's so revolutionary it will rival "American Idol" in the ratings, but "there will be no rival in the shocking nature of this pairing."
As for Israel and Palestine? The producers think the show might give hope to the two warring nations -- which makes sense, because the enemy of your enemy is always your friend.
Sick of seeing Kate Gosselin? Too bad, she wants to be in the movies!
During last night's "Jon & Kate Plus 8" special, Kate announced her ambition to take over Hollywood -- but just in case that lofty dream doesn't pay off, she said there's already money put aside for the kids' college funds ... and nobody (i.e. Jon) can use it for anything else.
On the bright side: The mother of 8 also said she doesn't plan on getting married again soon.
Mother Goose has officially been roped into the war between "Jon & Kate" -- because Jon Gosselin's attorney just busted out some lines from a nursery rhyme to insult Kate outside of today's hearing.
According to Jon's lawyer, Kate is "like the old lady who lived in a shoe" ... but really lives in a glass house or something.
Kate Gosselin's lawyer just released a statement regarding the judge's decision this morning to force Jon to hand over the cash he ripped out of the couple's joint bank account a few weeks ago:
"We are clearly pleased that the monies taken by Mr. Gosselin have been returned to the marital account, and we look forward to recouping additional monies taken by Mr. Gosselin at the time of the parties' private arbitration hearings.
A total of at least $235,000 was taken by Mr. Gosselin, and despite his initial comments denying responsibility, we have established that Ms. Gosselin needed emergency relief to prevent her economic claims from being compromised."
Kate was not at court in Pennsylvania for today's proceedings -- her lawyer explained that she was not required to be there in person ... she was only required to provide a "complete accounting of funds" ... which she did.
TMZ has learned at 1:23 PM ET -- 30 minutes ago from the time of this post -- Kate Gosselin's lawyers received an email from Jon Gosselin's Pennsylvania lawyer stating that he has $152,000 from Jon that will repay Kate for the money he looted from the joint account.
As we first reported, the judge in the case ordered Jon to repay $180,000 -- Jon has already repaid $28,000 so the balance is $152,000.
Under the terms of the judge's order, Jon is required to wire the money to Kate's lawyers. That has not been done yet.
Kate's lawyer, Mark Momjian, tells TMZ if he gets the money today he'll cancel the court hearing on Monday.
There's another $55,000 in dispute. Jon says Kate had no right to take the money. Kate says she spent it on household matters. The arbitrator will decide who's right at a later date.
Jon Gosselin may be on the hunt for a new lawyer soon, because we've learned the person who sponsored New York attorney Mark Heller to appear on Gosselin's behalf in Pennsylvania has formally made a motion with the court to withdraw his support.
Attorney Mike Marino filed his motion today, saying he wants to wash his hands of the whole case. Marino told us he had never had contact with Heller until Mr. Heller found him in a legal directory, cold called him and asked Marino to sponsor him for a one-time-only case -- Jon vs. Kate.
Marino says he had never heard of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" when he agreed to sponsor Heller. As Marino put it, "I don't watch that kind of junk on TV."
The judge will schedule a hearing on Marino's motion. We also learned Marino sent the judge a letter last week requesting out of the whole case.
If Heller doesn't find a new sponsor, he can't practice in PA.
Sean P. Diddy Combs I'm takin off now. But I must say thank you again to the all people that wished me happy bday today. So many people. Humbling! Thank you bye
Demi Lovato I'm gonna go green and only take a shower AFTER I work out.... gotta save water people!
Kate Gosselin was speeding in her SUV with the kids on board last Thursday, according to a Pennsylvania trooper who spoke with TMZ.
Jon Gosselin is not going to hook up with Octomom for a TV special, because his "spiritual advisors" had a bad feeling about the project. Who knew we were spiritual advisors?
Kate Gosselin's lawyer just released a statement regarding the judge's decision this morning to force Jon to hand over the cash he ripped out of the couple's joint bank account a few weeks ago:
